Undefeated but Untested

As a background for you, I think I went through some of the hardest personal tests ever in the past year. I'll spare the details, as some are still unfolding, but here's some randomness that's still pretty fresh on my heart...

Sports can offer great parallels to the nature of life, and even walking with God. A few months ago, I read the words "...undefeated but untested..." in a news article describing a college football team (don't remember which team) and they caught my attention. This undefeated team's previous games were a mix of opponents who were of lower caliber and talent. Now, the winning team would face an all-around stronger, more demanding opponent. They would have to prove who they were by securing another win to garner more respect and weight in the college football arena. This opponent would test their substance and reveal their strengths and weaknesses. The writer of the article was implying that the winning team needed to be well prepared for the next game.

Most people dislike being tested - including yours truly. I've heard it said before that "personal trials reveal the worst in us". It's true. Often in the American church (and elsewhere, too), we're like the winning team, spiritually speaking - feeling 'undefeated' and 'cruising'  and taking things more lightly than we should - while untested and unprepared for bigger demands yet to come. The things we struggle with are relatively small, so when a weighty test comes we're caught "off guard", which means our perceptions are small and incomplete. Thankfully, the purposes of trials can better us...

Testings can often be 'layered' (especially in our culture), as we deal with certain constant life things, while other things are situation-specific. Here are a few things I've noticed:
- tests are (not always) made of uncomfortable pressures, both internal and external
- biblically, pressure is equated to fire - hence a FIERY TRIAL - see 1 Peter chapter 4
- tests can remove some personal security - depending on where it lies
- If we fail a test, it can breed self-disgust, regret and shame if aspects of God's nature aren't embraced
- tests can reveal blind spiritual perceptions, places in the heart that are hard and cold, and the reasons why if reflected upon

- tests are U-G-L-Y, not every battle is won
- our responses during tests are crucial, in that if we aren't getting the encouragement we need, it can affect how we go through the rest of it
- every ungodly thing we come up against is some kind of test, so remember Jesus' prayer not to take disciples out of the world
- there WILL BE emotional places you will have to, like King David, talk yourself out of  (encourage yourself or have someone help)
- tests are connected with people around you
- they can show you how close you are to God and how far there is to go at the same time

For me, it's daunting to think about these things through natural eyes because I, like you, am reminded of weakness, even in the face of victories - until I realize a lot of other people experience the same.

But a more powerful truth is the revelation of the INFINITE MERCIES of God. When I begin to think about those two words.......well........try it and see what happens.  It's like seeing a broad horizon after being sandwiched between two rock cliffs. By the way, why does the Bible call them "mercies"??  I believe it's because for every situation, He applies very specific love. Check out these relevant things that have recently resonated in my heart around this theme:

Our culture doesn't teach us how to properly handle failure or success... 
- Jim Sink

Failure is critical to success. Absence of war - absence of heroes. 
- Kim Clement

I'll take my cold, cold heart 

I'll take my unrenewed mind

I'll take Your Word in my hand 

And I'll give You time 

to come and melt me...

I can't even love you lest you call my name

I can't even worship lest you anoint my heart, God...

Come fan the flame...
- Misty Edwards

Well all I have to say

About these serious days

And the condition of my heart

Is they're both still as much a mystery to me

And they both get so hard
- John Mark Mcmillan, "Alive"

 

 Man, it's encouraging to know that other people (& more mature) go through the same REAL stuff I do. The grace and love of God are soooooo BIG...
- Brian (R)

a poem

When we do altars of worship on Friday nights we worship and worship and God shows up, sometimes in big ways sometimes in quiet ways, sometimes his presence just lingers for hours and we can't help but to just sit there in his presence.  I believe that its his presence that awakens in us our giftings and our inner most self can be truly expressed.  When his presence has taken you over you can't help but to be expressive.  For me my mind is constantly moving, thinking, processing diagnosing, and just absorbing information.  Its not until I am in the presence of God that my mind is at rest and that is when he can move in and through us.

Sometimes he gives me a revelation (heavy reavy) lol, sometimes he gives me a picture, or a musical idea or sound.  But sometimes he is quiet, and he is waiting for me to give something to him.  Its in these moments when a burst of whats really in my heart comes out and I have to be quick to write it down before its gone.  So I usually grab my phone and write down these little notes, sometimes a sentence sometimes a whole verse or page of text. 

So here is a poem I wrote about a year ago.  I have not shared this with anyone until now and I feel like it has become my anthem and my approach to the band and my idea of worship. 

"We are a hungry generation,
hungry for you.
Crying out with everything,
crying out for you.
A thirsty generation,
thirsting for you.
For your presence is sweet,
so sweet.
I want to be in your presence,
I want to be with you,
I long for your touch.
Touch this generation"